I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
