If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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