i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
