How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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