I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
