Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
