I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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