can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
is it fun? or sober?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
