i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
