I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
