I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
