his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
