I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I hope mine doesn't look like that
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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