I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
