2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My cat gives me a boner
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
