Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
