And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
