Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize