You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
