so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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