is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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