Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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