never play flip cup with pint glasses
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
