new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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