Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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