cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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