Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
