Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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