I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
