If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
