No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
