I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
