um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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