i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
