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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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