So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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