Apparently you make a good broom.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
