youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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