oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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