Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
