They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
