You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
