I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
