I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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