we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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