Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
