Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
