You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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