drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
