she kept yelling 'call me bella'
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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