Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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