And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
