I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
