I must be too annoying 4 u.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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